Your mother sounds dismissive, anything you desire isn’t ‘good enough’ for HER daughter. I even checked you were the eldest daughter, and you sure are. Does she treat your younger sister the same way? I agree with others, as you are happy with your life, then ask her why she can’t be happy for you? “Mum, I love the thought of staying home with DD, why can’t you be happy for Supper Just Pour Me Coffe Hand Me My Crochet And Slowly Back Away Shirt me?” I would say that to everything she acts dismissive about. I think she is in fact a just no but you have been in the fog. It’s starting to clear a bit and hopefully that will continue. No one besides you and DH gets a say about any of the points you have listed her butting in with her opinion.
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You don’t need to Supper Just Pour Me Coffe Hand Me My Crochet And Slowly Back Away Shirt share everything with your mom. And if she finds out from someone else and starts trying to convince you to do things her way…then use the script above. Or even simpler: “This topic is not up for discussion. We can try again another time.” And then HANG UP. Be consistent. I think every decision is about her. All about her. She gives advice but only because it leads to what she wants for herself. Why do you tell her everything? Why don’t you tell her to mind her own business? Do you enforce consequences when she won’t mind her own business? Seriously, back away from your mother.