Official Jeff Goldblum Life Uh Finds A Way Shirt

Do you still have the bottom one cemented to Official Jeff Goldblum Life Uh Finds A Way Shirt the back of your bottom teeth? They told me I’d have it until the cement wore off, whenever that would be and I still wonder who all had worked on their teeth would still have the bottom retainer lol. Also, it still sucks to eat cold stuff with it. Because, while I do genuinely like Jeff Goldblum as much as the next man, his PR team has been going nuts over the last year or so trying to turn him into an icon. There’s this stylish, jazz-playing, laid-back super charming image around him that wasn’t really there a while ago.

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I mean it with no disrespect, dude’s trying to Official Jeff Goldblum Life Uh Finds A Way Shirt reinvent himself and I wish him the best. They’re laying it on thick, though, getting him to Nic Cage / Keanu levels of internet worship. Is this great execution tho? I feel like to be great execution, he’d need to be lying across the teeth, shirtless. This is just his face printed on with what I imagine is a specialized machine that prints custom images into retainers. Ok, someone please tell me: how and when did this weird Jeff Goldblum cult develop? I’ve only seen him in two movies: Jurassic Park and Independence Day.

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He was unremarkable in both and seems to keep a somewhat low public profile? At least, no larger than any other celebrities. He’s not like Chris Pratt who gets in the news for pranking his co-stars or Bill Murray for crashing random parties and being weird. I don’t get it. There you are just sitting on the train waiting to reach your destination minding your own business as you have your entire life. When some ass takes you and posts it online without your permission for thousands to see. And for Official Jeff Goldblum Life Uh Finds A Way Shirt what? Lousy internet points. This is creepy as fuck.

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